THE HIDDEN COST OF DEPENDENCE

Somali society is built on unity, family, and mutual support. This culture of helping each other whether through remittances, emotional backing, or community-based aid has allowed the Somali people to survive decades of war, displacement, and poverty. There’s no denying that this solidarity is powerful and has kept the nation standing where systems have failed. But while everyone celebrates the strength in togetherness, it’s time to talk about the other side, the part we often ignore. Too much dependence on each other, especially in modern times, is creating hidden problems that hold individuals back and slow down Somalia’s national progress.

         In many Somali families, when one person succeeds especially someone living abroad, they’re expected to carry the entire family. This can include sending money for school fees, medical bills, house rent, weddings, and more. The pressure is constant, and for many young Somalis in the diaspora, it becomes mentally and financially overwhelming. They feel trapped and unable to say no, even when it damages their own wellbeing. Many suffer in silence, sacrificing their own growth and mental health out of fear of being seen as selfish or dishonorable.

 

One of the biggest problems that few want to admit is how dependence is damaging Somalia’s economy. Many young people today are not willing to take small jobs like cleaning, construction, farming, or selling in the market because they believe such work is “low” or “not for them.” Why? Because they can survive off the support of their families or relatives abroad. If someone knows they’ll be helped either way, there’s no urgency to work, save, or hustle from the bottom.

           This attitude is destroying the culture of hard work. Somalia needs builders, technicians, farmers, and laborers just as much as it needs doctors, accountants, economist and engineers. But instead of embracing honest work at every level, too many young people are stuck waiting for white-collar jobs or government posts that may never come. Meanwhile, essential industries go understaffed, and the economy struggles to grow. If everyone is depending on someone else, then who is actually producing?

 

Behind the smiling photos and social media posts, many Somalis especially those abroad carry a silent burden. The emotional guilt of saying “no,” the fear of disappointing family, and the stress of being the “hope” of many lives take a toll. Some skip their own education, delay starting families, or take on multiple jobs just to meet expectations back home. Over time, this leads to burnout, resentment, and even broken relationships.

Dependence also affects personal decision-making. Many people don’t follow their passions or build the life they want because they’re stuck fulfilling the dreams of their families. What starts as support turns into control, and what should be love becomes pressure.

Support and solidarity are good but they shouldn’t come at the cost of personal freedom, national growth, or long-term development. Somalia needs to shift from a culture of dependence to a culture of shared responsibility. Everyone should play their part, no matter how small. We need to teach young people the value of every kind of work. We need to respect those who start from the bottom and build slowly. We need to stop glorifying dependence and start celebrating independence, effort, and self-made success.

 

Yes, Somali togetherness is beautiful but when it turns into a system where a few are always giving and others are always taking, it becomes harmful. Too much dependence is weakening our economy, our work ethic, our institutions, and our people. We don’t need to break our culture; we need to evolve it. Let’s keep our unity but remove the chains. Let’s help each other but also push each other to grow, work, and stand tall.